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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Thank you for these thoughts.

I decided to cut everyone off from ME but not from my children or DH. If DH wants to see his family, if they want to see the kids, fine.

All of DH's family is two faced. Her Mother, Sister and my FIL acted as her "posse" in this blow out. None of them had anything to say but they made it clear that they were there for her because she "needed them". I just don't trust any of them and they bring so much negativity.

And, it's been surreal without any of them to bug me. DH and I actually aren't fighting, I am not nagging because my feelings are hurt. [/quote]

PP here, as I said before - there will be repercussions you can't imagine right now. You're putting your DH in a difficult position to choose when big life events come around - family weddings, holidays, end-of-life issues, etc.

I'm fully supportive of you not spending time with people who treat you poorly and bring lots of negativity to your life, so don't read that I'm saying you shouldn't do it. But while you're looking for closure and moving on, I think the healthiest thing to do for your marriage and for your future self is to say "this is what I'm doing for now, we can reevaluate in the future." If you dig your heels in for the rest of your life, it is going to make it difficult when those unique situations come up.

For example, you might be willing to go to an important family wedding if you're sat at a table with cousins or other more distant relatives, and if your DH is willing for you to go back to the hotel after dinner. But if you try to get closure now and declare "NEVER, I am never spending time around them again," it puts you in a position to have to "stick to your guns" and your husband in a position to have to choose.

I'm recommending a slightly softer approach for your own future self, and for the health of your marriage - NOT to leave the door open for those other people. [/quote]

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