Reply to FIL spending down assets for nursing care----guidance?

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[quote=Anonymous]Not sure if this should be here or in money and finances.  FIL has been in very bad health and we've been trying to get him into some sort of assisted living situation closer to us for years, but he has been very reluctant.  He has severe heart problems and has not been going to drs or taking care of himself.  He ended up in the hospital and was basically referred to hospice care and we were told he would be very lucky to live another year  (but who knows).  He is on oxygen, no longer mobile and basically requires round the clock care.  If we were to take him into our home he would still need day nurses and a lot of assistance.  We had a toddler , another child on the way and both WOH full time  (and have to stay in our very small house).  Basically we were told his only option is self-pay nursing care . Medicare and Tricare  (his insurrance) will not cover it.  He was going to get a few weeks for rehab but doesn't qualify because he is not well enough for PT etc.  We have had him moved to a nursing home near us (moving from MD to VA which may have been a mistake).    Our thought is he will be kept comfortable and we can visit often. He does not have a lot of assets-----he has enough to cover maybe 3 or 4 months tops and when we sell him home  (on which he still owes a lot) he may have enough for  3 or 4 more months.  We understand at some point after extinguishing his assets he will qualify for Medicaid which may help support nursing care somewhere.  He is also a veteran and we are looking into going to the VA for help but understand that will take a minimum of 6 months, maybe more.  Has anyone BTDT  or do you have   guidance, resources or advice?  The social workers at the hospital and through the one hospice we talked to have not been very helpful.  DH does have POA so can help facilitate some of the clearning of house and sale and paying bills.  FIL seems accepting of his situation but has always been clueless about finances.   We are a little lost.  [/quote]

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