Reply to Anyone ever totally lose their temper with their kid?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everyone on this board seems so patient toward their SN kids so I feel like a total jerk for admitting to this. We caught our 11 yo in another incident involving lying and manipulation yesterday. He does lie and manipulate from time to time. He has ADHD. He's on medication and it helps with focusing but not with the problem of lying and manipulating. He has stole from us before, credit cards, phones, itune cards, etc…I lost my temper with him a couple of times, such as when he charged $800 worth of games on our credit card without our knowledge or consent, I yelled, "How can anyone be so stupid as to do something like that??" I just lost it. i felt ashamed. I had never uttered such words to anyone in my life. I'm a person who doesn't use profanity and has never used profanity. I know this isn't profanity, but just to let you know I am pretty conservative in my use of language. I was just so angry with him. As far as we know he has stopped lying and stealing for the past year. I spent the better part of this year trying to see him in a new light, to be more empathic with his challenges, and to learn to love him by seeing him as someone who is struggling. He became a little more compliant. Just two days ago he finally told me, "I love you" and I said the same to him. Do you know how long it's been since I heard him say that to me? I cried. Then last night we caught him lying and manipulating again. I felt devastated, crushed,[b] totally betrayed again[/b]. Again I yelled, "How can you be so idiotic to do something like that -- TWICE?" It concerned violating a school policy. He violated school policy on Monday, then did it again on Tuesday.  :shock: But I am more upset with my reaction to him. How can I be patient to someone who is lying and manipulating us? How do I not yell at and should insults at someone who behaves this way? I'm watching myself transform into an angry person who is losing control and I never used to be this way. I need help and advice.[/quote]  i'm sorry you are having a tough time.  I'm sorry; I can't really help, but the bolded jumped out at me.  It sounds like you are taking his behavior very personally.  I'm not sure how much he can 'help it' but I'm almost positive that he's not behaving this way in an effort to hurt you.  I know it's easier said than done, but violating a school policy, is not doing something TO you.  Try not to take it so personally.[/quote]

He lied about violating the school policy, later apologized to me, then one hour later tried to manipulate me about a different issue.[/quote]

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