Reply to Stop my mother from turning DD into the family princess

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You take the ice cream and say "Sorry Ella, we're not  having ice cream today. Today is about Grandpa Jim and Larlo because it's their birthday party."

Set boundaries, enforce them. [/quote]

I would have told your mother, in no uncertain terms, not to bother getting ice cream because your DD will not be having any. To put your foot down after your mother has bought the ice cream & is in the process of giving it to your DD is not really fair to your DD, IMO. To a young child unable to understand complicated family dynamics & the real reason you are taking the ice cream away, it would seem as though she is "losing" the ice cream already in front of her because of something she did wrong[b] &/or because you are being "mean".[/b]

To try to avoid future instances like this, I'd be as proactive as possible in discussing your expectations for what your DD can & cannot have & do, how she is & is not allowed to behave, etc. with your mother before a family event. I'd also let her know that if she undermines your wishes, you, your DH & your child(ren) will no longer be able to attend family gatherings if she is there & will instead see the rest of the family on your own, without her present.[/quote]

^PP here. I meant your DD  may think you're being "mean" [i]for no reason[b] /be confused as to why mommy took her ice cream /what she did wrong to make mommy take her ice cream away. Obviously, sometimes parents have to risk their kids labeling them "mean" sometimes in order to set limits when they misbehave or for their safety. Sometimes parents  being "mean" is for the kids own good! IMO, this wasn't one of those times, though, as your DD would likely have just ended up confused & , depending on how your mother reacted, may have ended up feeling like a pawn in an adult conflict she is too young to understand.    
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