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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If she knew you were buying stuff, she might not want to step on your toes. I wouldn't necessarily send anything in this situation if it was a niece or nephew. We are not a family that gives a lot of gifts and my inlaws are. It drives me kind of nuts how they equate gifts with expressing love. We all have too much stuff and I don't like to show my love by buying things. If she is Skyping regularly and trying to stay in touch with your family, that is more important and more valuable. [/quote]

Exactly my situation. All the stuff makes me uncomfortable.

Op surely your child's recovery is not dependent on toys? Focus on your child, surgery is not a gift grab. [/quote]

Hmm, I hope I didn't give the impression that his recovery is dependent on toys or that I view his surgery as a gift grab. That is far from the truth.

My family of origin showed love by giving gifts, and so sometimes my judgement about these types of things is skewed a bit. We were surprised by friends, extended family and co-workers who sent small things to DS or a meal to us to show they were thinking of us. Unexpected but kind gestures.  I tend to do the same when I know that someone is in a similar situation. It's just how I was brought up. I don't tend to think of it as being "gift-grabby", just thoughtful.

But seeing the responses here shows that this isn't necessarily the norm, so I'll stop thinking of it as such. No harm, no foul.

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