Reply to School Bullying -- Go Directly to School or Courtesy Heads Up to Parents First?

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Reply to "School Bullying -- Go Directly to School or Courtesy Heads Up to Parents First?"

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[quote=Anonymous]If you do not know his parents, why would you contact them? To be blunt, you don't "owe" them a heads-up or any courtesy. This boy is likely learning this language somewhere. At home, maybe? Or if he's not hearing it from the adults in his life, then he is being given too much leeway to see stuff on TV he shouldn't be seeing, or he's aping someone like an older sibling who is crude. Whatever the source, unless this family is already known to you, do not give them a chance to get defensive or make excuses for this boy.

Please do not wait another day while your husband ponders this. I would not just "write a note" but would send an e-mail today, with time, place and details of the incident where he rubbed against her. Send it to the teacher; the principal and vice-principal; and counselor -- all at once. Turn on that function on your e-mail that lets you know when the e-mail gets read.

End the e-mail with a specific request to meet the next day in person with those people. Explain that you will be there to hear what the school plans to do about this behavior, both verbal and physical.

If they refuse to meet or are balky about acting: Tell them you would be glad to take it up at a level outside the school, say, with the principal for the school cluster, or at the board.

Tell them you are entirely willing to get the school resource officer (who is a cop) involved immediately if there is not a change and fast.

She should know you have her back. That does NOT mean a courtesy notification to his parents. It means you tell someone today, not tomorrow. She herself can go to the counselor to report it for sure (she should take that responsiblity) but you also need to report it and be sure the school follows up.

If he is in her classes, you need to ensure that he is not put into any team or group projects with her, that he is not put in her group for field trips, etc. The teachers CAN make that happen if they try. But you may have to spell it out for them. Just saying "We only want him to leave her alone" is not enough. 
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