Reply to What about this as a breach of trust?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's not a breach of trust if you hadn't previously agreed with spouse not to disclose the pot issue (and even then there would be exceptions). You're in therapy and since this seems like the main issue for you it must be discussed. I am wondering if you are the same OP from recent threads about pot use, verbal abuse, etc. and I am sorry you're going through this. Either way, based on your description of your spouse's unwillingness to address his issues and how combative and inflexible he seems, I'd say it's time to go. I mean, you've already had a mental breakdown and he is basically acting like his issues are non negotiable and refusing any personal responsibility? What else will it take for him to work with you and not against you? Sorry, OP, but the fact that you feel the need to disprove claims he is making against you are probably a sign you've been putting up with way too much and experiencing some form of emotional abuse by this person. I hope you can regain confidence and move on without this nonsense. [/quote]

I am not that poster, but I read the threads and that was eye opening. No apparent abuse, but we, I, have been through a series of traumas that contributed to the breakdown. And though he didnt handle those traumas particularly well (nor did i), I still wouldn't call his treatment of me abuse. I think he is psychologically addicted, maybe also physically addicted to pot because he is probably using it to self-medicate for anxiety and depression. And to be fair, I have smoked too in the past. Never anywhere close to his level (I dont like it enough to and anyway couldn't - never smoked during pregnancies breastfeeding and moreover I'm the breadwinner and have a very demanding job). But I take Lexapro now. To him, that's the same (maybe worse) than using pot to medicate for same issues.  As I type all this, it just sounds crazy.  And I've been feeling like that for a long time now.  I wanted therapy to work because I wanted to feel like I've done everything possible to save us.  But by taking it off the table - yeah, you are right - WTF else am I supposed to do [/quote]

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