Reply to What about this as a breach of trust?

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[quote=Anonymous]Some background: I experienced basically what I would describe as a mental breakdown late last year. Admitted myself to psych ward, completed three weeks of outpatient treatment, and have since been in weekly psychotherapy sessions. And taking Lexapro. I am finally feeling stable and that life is manageable. Through therapy, learning many things, but one thing that keeps surfacing as an issue is my marriage. Specifically that my spouse is a habitual and heavy pot smoker. And is a stay at home parent. I am not comfortable with the pot use for a number of reasons - but could be ok with some different version of it given a certain set of factors that aren't in play now (e.g., quantity reduced dramatically, certain designated truly recreational times to smoke, living somewhere it were legal-we don't live in DC, spouse returns to work, etc.) anyway, have been discussing all this with my therapist in individual sessions which brings me to...

The breach of trust: my spouse recently attended a session with my therapist in preparation for a couples session we had scheduled for a few weeks out. in this session, where I was not present, my therapist (with my permission) raised the pot issue. i have raised issues about this with my spouse in the past, voicing my concerns and discomfort, but haven't pushed it too far. Yes, I have been an enabler.  And didn't sayy prior to  my spouses session that I had talked to her about it, though it has come up several times since I've been in therapy. Anyway, tonight my spouse said that discussing this matter with my therapist was a huge breach of trust on my part, that there are trust issues with me anyway, and that never thought I would be the "variable." That I have exposed our family to risk (like my therapist would call CPS or something - never mind patient privilege of the fact that she has no reason or interest to do such a thing). And that I knew about the smoking before we were married. That I was previously told never to make it a decision between the pot or me. And that this will never change and my spouse will never give it up.

What do you think.  Breach of trust? Or perhaps more importantly, is it time to go?  I would like to give it one last shot in couples therapy, but my spouse said this issue is not open for discussion with the therapist. Period.

Sorry in advance for typos and length. I just feel numb by this exchange. Just happened tonight. Any and all thoughts welcomed.[/quote]

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