Reply to To wives who feel like their marriage is headed downhill, I have some potential hope

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[quote=Anonymous]We have been struggling greatly for the last 18 months and majorly the last 3-4 months.  We have two young children (4yo DD and 13mo DS).  Life with little ones and two full time jobs is very difficult and demanding.  Combine sleep deprivation and in my opinion the reality that most men just don't naturally jump in and help in a proactive way as we wives seems to think they should and you find resentment creeping in and in my case bad habits of just plain treating each other badly.  After a two week vacation that was filled with yelling at one another and stress during what should have been an amazing time, my DH came to me and said he really felt like we may need to seriously take some time apart.  He was serious and it shook me to the core.  As much as we have fought and I always find a way to convince myself it is his fault, this literally stopped me in my tracks and suddenly I was able to somehow see the harm I have been contributing in a new light.  Don't get me wrong, I am not taking full blame for all issues we need to work on but for the first time I am really ready to stop the blame game and remember why I married this man and to stop the attacks and terrible environment of fighting in front of our children.  We have decided to find a counselor and do what we can to find ways to relieve stress.  Suddenly and I mean suddenly (I guess because I felt that my life was truly at stake for the first time) I have been able to just stop with all the nagging and yelling.  Amazingly within just a few days I feel sooooo much differently.  It's like I have all this self control that I forgot I had.  I feel like myself again for the first time in years.

I'm sure I'll get flamed somehow for this but I just wanted to tell someone like me that you can change things and there is hope.  I guess the bottom line was truly considering what I would be giving up and also facing that fact that I had gotten into a bad habit of being nasty to my husband just because.

Anyone been down a road like this?  Also what are tips to keep things on track?[/quote]

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