Reply to being primary caregiver for someone undergoing chemo?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband had chemo.  I had to work to keep mortgage payments and health insurance.  I was very lucky his parents came and stayed with us to do the day to day and my mom lived in town.  I actually had to pick up two jobs to pay the bills.  We also had two small children.

The downside to that was that I was too stressed to be as a supportive caregiver as I could have been.  I was worried we were going to be foreclosed, that I couldn't pay medical bills, and how I was going to support two young kids in the event he didn't get better.

My husband had a very bad stage when he was diagnosed, so I was aware that he was probably not going to have a good outcome, and we were working on the slimmest of hope.  He deserved every opportunity to hold on to hope, and I believed that he had just as much right to hope and just as much chance as a miracle to recover as anyone.

However, working also didn't allow me to empathize as much as I could have.  It didn't allow time for me to spend his last moments with him.  It made me seem heartless to his parents because I was so stressed and worried about what would happen to me and the kids.  It was hard.  It was sad.  My husband lost his battle.  My kids lost their dad.  But the hidden loss was that my husband and my kids lost my time and support because working all the time left me exhausted and emotionally unavailable.

I don't know that I would have done it differently - if i had to do it over again.  Prayers and good wishes to you if you're having to make this choice.  It's an awful choice to make.  Please be strong.[/quote]

I'm sorry this happened to your family.[/quote]

OP here. Me too. You are very kind to take the time to share your experience. My heart goes out to you, your late husband, and your kids. It sounds like a terrible situation, but you did what you had to do and I only hope that I would have the strength and stamina to endure what you did. They were lucky to have you supporting them, stressed or not. Hugs.

Thanks to everyone else for sharing your experiences. This is such a curveball. I am still wrapping my head around how to make everything work, but it's good to go into the situation with my eyes wide open to the challenges. It's pretty clear that some changes are going to have to be made in my life, at least temporarily, and who knows--maybe that's for the best. [/quote]

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