Reply to I love him but the sex isn't great

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]BREAK UP NOW!!!!! Read all the threads about sexless marriages- they are a time machine to your future if you marry this man.

I know of what I speak. I married a man who seemed great but the sex was lackluster. I thought, well, maybe amazing sex is not the most important thing in a lifetime partnership, maybe it will get better over time as we grow into our marriage, maybe I don't need sex as much as I think I do. The answer is NO, it is not okay. I grew resentful because I did want satisfying sex, and then my sex drive did die because it was so frustrating to never be really satisfied. I tried telling him directly what I liked, showing him, asking about fantasies, etc but he was not interested in responding. Not only was he sexually unsatisfying, I realized after years of this that it's a sign of larger personality flaws too- selfishness, lack of emotional connection and empathy, rigid thinking, etc.

Do yourself and him a favor and end it now. Life is way too long to trap yourself into bad sex.[/quote]
+1
I agree with everything this PP has said- it is very important and it's not shallow or silly to be concerned about this. Before you sign up to have sex with only this person for the rest of your life, you need to make sure you are happy with what you are signing up for! Is he open to talking about this? Does he know it's not as great for you as it could be? If he hasn't even noticed, that's a sign of a problem. If he is willing to do some things to improve that's a great sign. Don't commit yourself to this until you've seen changes being made that look like they will stick. This is too, too important.[/quote]

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