Reply to Financially tough times...okay to ask uncle to help, considering circumstances...?

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[quote=Anonymous]DH lost his job around this time last year. After several frustrating months he finally settled on a new job, but it is only part time, so he makes less money and has significantly fewer benefits. I had been working part time but was barely making enough to cover the cost of part time daycare by myself, so I've switched to being a SAHM (while DH works part time), and am taking in neighbors kids and tutoring high schoolers for extra cash. We've been having a really tough time making ends meet, but are doing the best we can. I've brought this up to my parents, but they are not in a position to help financially (and do not live nearby so they cannot help watch the kids, etc). DHs parents are no longer with us.

I've been thinking more and more about my extended family situation: My Dads parents were quite wealthy. But in the late 1970s and early 80s, my uncle  "borrowed" over $150,000 from them, to use as venture capital for his business ideas. After several failed attempts, he finally founded a very successful business in the mid 80s, and became quite rich. However, he never paid his parents back. His father died in 1993, and his mother had a very lengthy battle with Alzheimer's. Their entire estate went to pay for her medical care, and my parents ended up having to pay for her last year of care and her funeral as well. My uncle didn't even go to her funeral.

My uncle has kept in touch with my parents, who do not hold any of this against him (they are very forgiving people). My parents often forward me emails from my uncle which are updates from his kids, who have greatly benefitted from his wealth (he bought one of his sons a ten acre farm in rural VA, the other son was able to establish a career in polo, with his dad's help of course, and lives in an extravagant home on the beach in Miami Beach).

I feel a great deal of personal resentment towards my uncle. Not only did he STEAL what might have been my (and my parents) inheritance, but he also refused to help pay for his mothers care and eventual funeral during her long bout with Alzheimer's, leaving my parents to foot the bill (after what remained of their estate had been spent). I have never been close with my uncle, for obvious reasons, but he would pop up once every few years for Christmas at my parents place, etc. I admit that I am jealous of my cousins, because they have never had to work a day in their lives (sorry, I don't consider playing polo "work,"), while I had to get my first job (in a restaurant) at 15, pay for my own first car, pay for college myself, etc.

Is there any way I can consider asking my uncle for financial help during this difficult time? I really think the reason he didn't help with his mom or go to her funeral was because he felt guilty on some level for never paying his parents back, so maybe this can be a way to help make things right? I realize he might just say no, but I'm not sure if there is any harm in just asking?  I know my parents would not be happy if I asked, but I think they would ultimately understand.

I'm curious to hear what others think about this. Thanks.[/quote]

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