Reply to When you've given your kid an ugly trait

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The "ugly trait" you risk passing on to your son is your attitude about physical appearance. Do what it takes to NOT pass this on to your children. Whether that's therapy or taking some time to really reflect on your life and what's important. I'm not trying to minimize the pain you've suffered from bullies, not at all. But you have the chance here to make your child's life really awesome by instilling a love for inner beauty early on.

When questions about birth marks (or other physical features) come up say things like "yep, you do have a a big birth mark, guess what, I do to! and I think we're both beautiful" Do the same thing for people you see out in public that may look different "yep, that person does look different than what we're used to but that's ok because we all look different and the way you look doesn't really determine how nice you are or how smart you are, etc"

These things might sounds corny to you but to a kid I think this kind of thing makes a huge impact on how they feel about themselves.[/quote]

This.  You "wracked with guilt" about something you had no control over?  You are "beside yourself" at the thought of another child?  You think your little boy isn't the most beautiful little boy in the world?

You absolutely need to consult a professional so that you can put this issue into perspective.  You are not going to be able to help your boy if you view his birthmark as a horrible defect, one so terrible that it makes you not want to have another child.  He will sense that you think it (and by extension he) is ugly and terrible and awful.  [/quote]

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