Reply to s/o the s/o thread... On the "outsourcing" of sex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It all depends.

If you're talking about a couple who has agreed that they will not be sexually monogamous, I don't have a problem with it in the abstract. I don't think that a relationship like that would work for me, but I know people who have open marriages (with ground rules and good communication) that work really well.

If you're talking about a couple who do not have sex as often as one partner wants and that partner seeks sex outside the marriage without consent from the low desire partner, that isn't okay. The LD partner should be allowed to decide whether they want to a) work on the sex issue, b) end the marriage or c) open up the marriage. The HD spouse finding another sex partner takes that decision away.[/quote]

But why are the keys solely in the hands of the low drive partner? If they are refusing at responsibility, should it not be up to the high drive to have their need met?

Most LD partners are given the choice, if you've read half the posts on here. They don't want sex (and make it clear), but are pissed to find their partner having an affair. So what's the resolution?

Eg. If I'm hungry, I don't expect DH to make me a snacks he's not. [/quote]

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