Reply to s/o the s/o thread... On the "outsourcing" of sex

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[quote=Anonymous]I've been reading some of these threads, especially the one about spouses who are not providing emotional and physical support to their partners.

This is not really a flip question.. I'm genuinely curiously hear responses. Yes, the question is certainly provocative, but I always thing it's interesting for people to face their own biases.

If you are unwilling to provide your partner sex, why is it such a problem for them to outsource (so to speak) to another person? Many things in many households, which are considered important are outsourced in order to keep the peace/ ease responsibility: food prep, child care, cleaning, etc. but it's absolutely verboten to consider sex a need that needs to be filled.

Why, if sex is not that important TO YOU (but to your partner), is it such a taboo that they meet that need elsewhere? If you agree that it's something sacred in a relationship, why do you deny it to your partner?

I'm a female, and I agree that my body is not "at the disposal" of my DH. That being said, if I didn't feed him for a week, is expect him to find food. Likewise water. Sex is identified as a hierarchical need- so how can we meet that need or ensure it's met? It outsourcing such a problem if you refuse to meet that need? [/quote]

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