Reply to One of my best friends is cutting me off

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[quote=Anonymous]I went through something similar with my BFF from college.  We were inseparable and after we graduated, I began working, was independent, making decent money, and she was really struggling, temping, subletting an apartment, etc.  She got herself into a lot of debt and had a lot of family and financial stress.  Through all of that we stayed really close, even though we lived in different cities, but after about 3-4 years, I started dating someone and she got jealous because she was still single.  I still made time to visit her, call her, etc. but she started being distant.  The shit really hit the fan when I got engaged.  She had a really hard time and basically showed up at the sower and wedding but I could tell it was the last thing she wanted to do.  Once I had my first baby, she pretty much cut me out of her life...fast forward to when she got engaged and suddenly she was calling me, asking how I was, etc.  When she struggled with infertility a few years later, guess who she called?  Yup!  As hurt as I was, I realized it wasn't about me and I needed to let it go. We have since become close again.  Though we have never talked about "what happened" between us in the past, I can tell she realizes she made a mistake by cutting me out of her life.  It took us almost 10 years to come full circle and get back to where we were in college. People change, relationships change, and I think if you just let this go and be there for her (or not), she may come around.  But you can't force it.  I think the worst thing you can do is try to talk about her "issues".  She will likely feel judged and it will make things worse.  I remember talking to a mutual friend after I got engaged and I was crying telling her how sad and hurt I was that my friend hadn't even congratulated me or asked a single detail about anything related to the wedding and she said "She is jealous.  She told me she is really jealous of you and even though she doesn't want to be, she is and is having a really hard time being happy for you.  She feels like crap about it but can't change how she feels".  I bet your friend is in the same boat.  Good luck, it's hard, I know.[/quote]

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