Reply to How can I make my stepkids feel special

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We send cards twice a month and presents monthly.  Otherwise, text/call regularly.[/quote]

Ick.  As a bio mom, I would hate it if my kids bio dad sent presents monthly.  It smacks of the circus dad phenomenon.  No need for presents.  Just send cards, pics, share videos of the baby so they can feel like they know him/her regularly.  Make sure these come from Dad and not step-mom, otherwise it also smacks of Dad not caring and step-mom trying to fill his void.

Even more important than "letting them know I'm really excited for them to get to know the baby" is letting them know you're really excited to build your relationship with them as individuals, not just as step-siblings to your baby.  Calls every week or more often, asking what they're doing, about friends, school projects and grades, etc.

Also make sure that there is plenty of alone time with Dad when they visit and it's not all about the baby.  They don't need to feel like the baby sucks all the oxygen out of the room.

Try and think of special things you can do with them while the baby is napping or in bed for the evening.  Get a sitter for the baby so the rest of you can go out together sometimes. [/quote]

Mom does not give me most of them but she, like you sound, do not support the relationship. If mom supports the relationship, op and her husband would be allowed to see the kids more than twice a year.  Let me guess, you do not want gifts as you'd rather call demanding more money and then take credit for buying the kids the things, even though it was dads money.  [/quote]

I'm confused by what you mean -- "mom does not give me most of them"?  whose mom doesn't give you what?  And "doesn't support the relationship"?  which relationship do you mean -- the one between the kids and the father or the one between the new wife and children?

[/quote]

Mom does not usually give them cards or presents and trashes it all.   She only wants money directly to her.  The relationship between dad and kids.[/quote]

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