Reply to s/o: Things you think your spouse wishes you'd told them before the wedding

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[quote=Anonymous]I know you don't like living in NYC because of how hard it id to afford a nice life style. I know I told you we could move if a better opportunity comes along. I know you said my Mom could relocate with us.

Well once we get married I will not let you live anywhere else. When you start making money, I will decide that I am going to SAHM and never work again. From the time we buy our first home I will insist that it has room for my mother and she will be allowed into our home without any boundaries.

you know how I was voluptuous when we married ? Well I will gain 75 pounds within five years of marriage. You know how you thought it was body image that prevented us from having an adventurous sex life - well you will never experience oral, never receive or give a back rub and until I get horny in my forties I will lie there like a dead fish.
I will buy more clothes than you can ever imagine and keep house like shit. I will take out credit in your name that you don't know about to buy clothes.
I will decide that our kids should go to catholic school and that you should pay for it. And when we have issues I will withhold sex as punishment for five years and expect you to stay loyal.
I think that about covers it.[/quote]

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