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[quote=Anonymous]Things like the couple leaving their kids in their car while wine tasting really doesn't surprise me.

I've been warning my wife that she was sacrificing her family for her education and career for a while and everything came to boil last night.

At the root of it is her selfishness, which there were signs of from the beginning of the relationship.  But it didn't really hit me until our first kid came and I saw how often she put her own needs ahead of the first child.

And before you all say it's not fair to ask a woman to sacrifice her career growth, I get that.  But I made sacrifices too where I turned down higher paying jobs (and staying at a job that I'm not crazy about) because I knew it would affect my family life.  And it pisses me off to no end when she kept on insisting that I accept one of the offers because that meant basically leaving our child in daycare all day and probably would not even have been manageable.  At the the time our kid was already the first to arrive and the very last to leave.

And making that sacrifice might be okay but the lifestyle better be worth it.  I also often tell her that we work as if we're rich (or upper middle class) but our lifestyle really doesn't reflect it.  Where in our neighborhood there are a several homes that maintain a similar lifestyle to ours and they have a parent staying at home.  And I know several families that make less income but have a solid family.  And part of this is also due to the separation of our finances, which again like I said other underlying issues.

I guess part of it comes down to values.  I've always known that I wanted my focus to be on life and family.

Who knows maybe this is just a bump and we'll get past it.  I'll give her credit that she does all of the physical things, like cleaning, cooking, etc, and she has made a bigger effort with the second kid.  She also started to do more/better with the first kid after we bumped into an acquaintance from her social circle who made a comment that it was obvious which parent takes care of the kid by seeing who the kid was more comfortable with.  But the emotional and psychological part just isn't there.

But it is something that has been simmering for a while and as mentioned that there are other issues related to her selfishness as well.  It doesn't surprise me at all when arguing last night how quickly she mentioned moving out and leaving me with the kids.

So we'll see.  I feel like $hit about the kids though.  As it was very important to me that they grow up in a strong/close family and want them to grow up in a happy environment.  And normally try to control myself when we get into it but finally lost it last night with my oldest kid at my leg.  My oldest kid is overcompensating now in his sweetness and trying to be good last night and this morning.

Anyways some of this is just venting, thanks for listening DCUM!

ps-it pisses me off to no end when I was the primary person taking of the kids and some people would go on and ask if I help out my wife in taking care of the kid.. Seriously...[/quote]

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