Reply to Dad kicked a hole in the wall. How should we punish?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Fwiw, I did that as a kid - same exact age and scenario as your DD!  I was shocked when my foot went through the wall and I can remember vividly how terrified I was that I had done that. In a weird way it de-escalated my tantrum and my parents could see how scared I got and we all calmed down cThey never punished me for kicking the hole (I was punished for whatever I had been screaming about in the first place) and I still remember it as a moment that reinforced for me that [b]whatever I did, my parents still loved me. [/b][/quote]

Well, that's a very important message, of course, but since all the PPs have mentioned consequences would be repairing the wall I'm not sure how having to fix what she broke would contradict that. Fixing our mistakes when we make them is just part of life, so I think it's a pretty reasonable (and still loving) reaction.

Loss of computer use would be punishing her for what she was screaming about in the first place, failure to get off the computer when instructed.[/quote]

I'm the pp who kicked the hole in the wall, and I wasn't trying to say that my parents handled it perfectly or that there should not be consequences - but I did want to share the memory of my parents' reaction 40 years later - I don't remember the specific punishment for my action leading up to kicking the hole, but I do remember how much I felt that I could count on my parents. [/quote]

PP, I agree and had a similar experience when I was 16 and had just gotten my license.  I was driving by myself for the first time and stupidly drove right into a parked car, seriously damaging the front of my parents' car.  When they arrived, I just remember sobbing and running to my dad - which is interesting because we weren't very close and he was kind of stern - and he opened his arms and just held me.  No lecture, no screaming, nothing.  I will always, always remember that moment of feeling like such an idiot but knowing that my parents would love me anyway.

That said, I wasn't allowed to take the car out by myself for a full year afterwards.   :wink: [/quote]

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