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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'mo not going to tell you how to do your healing.

I grew up in a terrible environment. I won't go into details, but I can empathize with you. I carried a lot of that anger, disappointment, sadness, etc. with me. Much like you, I dreamed of the day I could finally confront my parents.

Then I realized one day, there was nothing they could say that would make me feel better or give me one moment of my childhood back. I couldn't get back the years as a young adult I lived in my own aftermath of dysfunction.

The more I thought about it, I knew there could be no other resolution FOR ME than to just forgive them. Let it go, just let it be. I could not change them or the past more than i could move the moon. My life then was gone.. The problem was i was letting it cloud my life now. And i had to do something.

I mulled it for weeks (with the help of my therapist). I wrote letters to my family. And then, one night, I burned them. I burned them on the summer solstice and followed it up with a smudging.

For me, I needed the symbolism, but you know what.. It worked. Slowly, that anger started to lift. Things just started to be easier.

I'm not past it, it still hurts sometimes, but having my little ritual and making the CHOICE to forgive helped mark the point where I didn't have to be that person any more. I didn't have to be bound to the life my family gave me.. Tat my life was my own to choose.

Keep moving forward OP. f confrontation will make you feel better, then do it. For me, I knew there was no resolution I could get from anything they would say or do.

Good luck with what ever you choose.[/quote]

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