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[quote=Anonymous]   DD (who has HFA) used to never want birthday parties and would only attend a few a year if that and it was sensory overload. (We have been fortunate that DD has friends and some parents have invited the whole class, so she gets invited to some b-day parties.) This school year she has attended almost every party she has been invited to and enjoyed it (with some issues here and there). This is HUGE progress. So now she finally wants a party of her own-a small party?!

Here's the issue-we feel DC could handle having a small birthday party of just kids, but I cannot stand the thought of not inviting every girl who was kind enough to extend an invitation. I don't think the boys who extended invitations will feel left out if it's just a girl party, so that's not a concern. It's just the last thing I want to do is make any girl think she is being excluded because we know too well how that feels.

If I invite all the girls in her class, the girls she knows from outside school activities and a few close friends who are not in her class anymore....and even under half or a third of them came and maybe just a few parents want to attend, I think DD would freak out with anxiety at her own party.

Add to that one of her closest friends (who also has some SN) has a mother who is mortified to even have an IEP and anytime she is around kids with SN (including DD) she scrutinizes them and sometimes makes offensive and.or critical comments comments. She would insist on joining her DD.

So, yes, we are fortunate DD has gotten to this point, but I feel like there are landmines everywhere and we'd be better off just having a few 1-1 birthday playdates and a family thing. Never thought I'd complain about such issues, but it sucks.[/quote]

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