Reply to Friends, how to combat bitterness and rancor while divorce pending

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[quote=Anonymous]This is what I'm doing, and I can't say I'm without bitterness, but I'm trying:

-Reaching out to friends and family and spending lots of time doing the social stuff that spouse never wanted to do
-Challenged myself to do at least one kind thing for another person (not including my own child) each day
-If I hear something from ex that makes me mad, or I find myself stuck on thinking about ex, I do at least 10 pushups (I think my arms are going to look really good by spring)
-therapy
-Therapists suggestion is that if you find yourself getting really angry, set aside some period of time in your day (15 minutes, 1/2 hour) during which you are free to think and write about that stuff.  If you find yourself thinking about it at other times, tell yourself to put it aside until your set time (it's very hard to do)
-Don't engage, don't ask, it doesn't matter if you are right, don't engage (this is really hard)
-you are no longer ex's friend, social support, sounding board, problem solver.  Only respond to messages specifically about your child.  Don't engage ex in any other topics.
-get a hobby (I'm trying new stuff and meeting new people and staying busy-aside from ex I feel happier than I have in years)[/quote]

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