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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Similar dynamic here where daughter can do no wrong and my DH never does enough. It was really sad and hurtful to realize it over the years, but then I got over it. My DH is wonderful and pushing the relationship with MIL and that side of family just makes him miserable. He's sad but only when it comes up during holidays.[/quote]

OP here.  Thanks for all of the replies! This is what I am talking about.  DH can do no right.  I am sure a professional has a phrase for it, but I do not know it off hand.  No one asks DH if he is available for vacation, for example.

The whole rotten attitude is to ask the SILs (DHs sisters), then tell us, as if DH would say no (he wouldn't, they know this).  We are the ones with small kids in camp and classes, and we have other family commitments and other plans.  SILs children are grown and gone, so they are not much of a consideration, if at all.  Half the time their children don't even show up!  It is like a big FU, which I wouldn't put past my MIL at all.  She is a little bit on the bitter side, and she sees me as different from them, so there's that.

I appreciate the support form other people who have experienced this.  [/quote]
It's sometimes referred to as scapegoat and the golden child. [/quote]

OP here - YES, YES, YES!!!!  This is precisely what it is, sadly.  Dh being treated like crap really made him strive for better.  Inadvertently, instead of making DH a shrinking violet, he thrived as a result of his abuse by his family.  Crazy, huh?

What baffles me is that it still continues, and DH's family never grows up, but DH did.

[/quote]
Just let them go. Your family will be so much better for it. [/quote]

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