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[quote=Anonymous]My DH does this too. It seems to be getting worse as he gets older, I don't really understand it. And yes, his father speaks like this, too. It really shuts down conversations sometimes. It actually bothers me more when he does it with the kids or with other people than when he does it with me, because I call him out immediately and usually he corrects his tone/behavior. Other people are obviously not going to do that and simply will assume, at best, that he's disinterested in what they have to say or, at worst, that he's an arrogant ass. And the kids are obviously at a disadvantage.

I was struck many years ago by an article about a relationship researcher who could predict with great accuracy which couples would endure and which would divorce. Basically, when one half of the couple treated the other with condescension (eye rolling, etc) , that was a bad, bad sign. I frequently remind DH of this, that there is no relationship killer more potent than condescension. Even if he doesn't mean to be condescending, if he comes across that way, he is putting up a barrier to connection with others. I know he doesn't want that with our kids especially. His own father is actually Exhibit A on this phenomenon, so this serves as a useful example.

The PP who says that you aren't his mom is right, but the real rub comes when your DH treats his kids this way. I'm not going to sit by and watch DH drive a wedge between himself and our children.[/quote]

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