Reply to Friends, how to combat bitterness and rancor while divorce pending

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[quote=Anonymous]Honestly, the thing that helped me was realizing (and being told by the therapist who helped us create our visitation schedule) that he was bipolar.  When I started thinking of him as mentally ill, some of the anger changed to pity.

For me, I was able to handle the crap that he did to me without getting too worked up. However, the crap he pulled on my son (missed visitation, canceling at the last minute, not taking him at all over vacations, moving to another city, etc.) was always hard to handle.

If there is a way to really limit the interactions, that would be helpful.  I refused to talk by phone and by text.  When he had to communicate with me only by email, it allowed me to save all the records of our interactions.  When he did send me nasty texts, I took screen shots of them and saved them.  I kept a log of all visitations (late pick ups, cancelations and early drop offs) so that if custody became an issue, I would have a record of the problems.

It's not easy.  It has gotten better since the divorce became final (less things to argue about or worry about), but I still don't like to spend time with him at all.[/quote]

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