Reply to I think my mom is losing it...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't apologize. Once my mother got mad at me because I didn't tell her I bought dinning room chairs. I told her that it's her problem if she took that personally, and besides she would find something wrong with my purchase. At some point I stopped caring about whether my mother was offended. And once I stopped caring she stopped being so whinny. [b]If you can get to a zen place where you realize that it's her problem and you don't really care anymore, somehow the dynamic will change.[/b][/quote]

OP, this is good advice. I also note you mention you're in therapy. I hope you and the therapist are already working on ways you can learn not to care so much. It's hard not to rise to the bait when your mom is so petty, but it's just that -- pettiness.

It sounds to me as well as if there's still [i]way[/i] too much electronic togetherness since you say you contact her daily AND your son is doing Facetime with her daily. She now expects these contacts every single day from both of you Be aware, as he gets older, he will want to do that less and less, and as he gets older, his own increasing activities will mean he simply has less time to contact grandma every single day. Will she then expect him to text her daily like you do now? I'd start ramping back gradually sooner rather than later so he's Facetiming less often and you talk to her maybe every other day.

She is not going to adjust well to his growing up, and having his own preteen and teen life, if she's this possessive about his time and whereabouts now.

Therapist had a good idea in terms of texting rather than calling, so you can limit response to whenever YOU want to respond, but some people do think texts merit instant replies or at least replies within a pretty short time frame. That's why I limit contact with some folks to just e-mail, not text or phone calls. Easier with e-mail to let it ride, and the expecation of fast reply isn't necessarily as high, especially if you say, "FYI, I check e-mail once a day, so if you don't hear back from me the same day it just means I didn't see it yet that day and I'll get to it."[/quote]

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