Reply to Teacher just told me my son has been bullying

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a parent of a 3 year old "bully" also.  It's very difficult, as we do everything we can to prevent it - talking about and enforcing consequences, building empathy, etc.  It has improved as he has gotten older (started about 2.75, he is now nearly 4 and we've seen improvement).

I do believe that my son has sensory issues.  It's not an excuse, but we do have him in OT for his tendency to get "over-physical" with other kids.  I do think OT can be sort of a catch-all but it's helped him learn to regulate his body.  He's always been very sensitive to noise and loud public places, and though that's improved with time and has never been incapacitating for him, I think it's all part of the same thing.  Good luck - I know how frustrating it is as a parent.[/quote]

Thank you, good to feel like there are other people with the same issues. It's interesting you mention sensory issues because he has recently seemed very sensitive to noises - hearing any little noise and asking what's that? And being scared of some of the noises.

May I ask how you work on building empathy? He shows it at times, like if he sees me visibly upset about something he'll occasionally say "what's wrong" or he'll give me a hug, and if his baby sister is crying he'll sometimes go to her and pat her head and tell her it's okay, don't worry. [/quote]

The sensory thing has been going on for quite some time.  He had to leave the room at his 2nd birthday party because the singer scared him.  He hates fairs, plays, amusement parks, etc - he is super outgoing and exuberant when in his comfort zone, but when he's out of it he gets scared.  When he started pushing and hitting at preschool, we did an evaluation and it all sort of came together - he has a strong need to feel comfortable and safe, and if he doesn't feel that way within his body (on swings, in sensory situations, etc) he acts out physically.  A lot of what they call "heavy work" - carrying things, helping lift, jumping on trampolines, etc - has helped him significantly and the issues have improved.  He will ALWAYS ask 'what's that' and look around warily if he hears an unfamiliar sound.

He is VERY empathetic - so we talk to him a lot about how he'd feel if he were pushed/hit, how he'd feel if someone did that to his baby brother or his mommy or daddy, how he wants his friends to keep wanting to play with him, etc.[/quote]

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