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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, marrying late at 36. Medium wedding at 150. We've dated a year.  My first marriage, his second. No kids yet. Not sure why I'm stressing. No financial burden from wedding, did pre-canaan, my dress is pretty, my wedding planner is taking care of all the details. I just wake up in the middle of the night thinking...what if I just pout a stop to all of this?!

And we're both multiple graduate degrees, came from intact families both sides.[/quote]

Weeeell....I think the previous advice was good: try to really put your finger on the source of the anxiety.  As a divorced and remarried person who went to pre-[b]cana[/b] (were you paying attention during those sessions?) I would make two observations:

- the information conveyed by the couples in our pre-cana class was pretty good but really hearing it was difficult without the benefit of the experience of having been married before.

- A year is fast to go from not knowing each other to married.  I'm not surprised at you being freaked out a little...if you've been single until mid-30s and in the space of a year go from that life to marriage...well of course you're going to feel like things are moving disturbingly fast.

Has the train really left the station?  Lots of people get engaged pretty quickly, but then have a substantial engagement time.  Why not have a year of dating then a year of engagement?  I'm on my second marriage (quite good!) and more or less insisted/pushed that we go slow - DW was ready to go much faster.  I think it's just good to let each stage settle in.

If the train has left the station, and you can't identify something about this person that's making you nervous, then go ahead, but please please please wait a couple of years to start trying to have kids.  Give yourself a year or two to get used to being a married person.  Do not rush into the marriage or babymaking just because you imagine your clock is ticking.  [/quote]

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