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[quote=Anonymous]Your problem is that you have framed this as a mental health issue and sought treatment from a "therapist".  If you believe that your DH's aggressive behavior is a result of a mental illness like bipolar depression, general depression, anxiety, ptsd, OCD, etc.  Then, he needs to be seen by a psychiatrist and, depending on what the psychiatrist says, take medication.  Frame this not as "you are abusing us, you need help or I will leave" but rather as, "you seem unhappy and very angry all the time, I want you to have a calmer, happier life, I've made an appointment with X and I'd like us to go together for an initial intake."  Give him a choice of 3 psychiatrists, from your health care plan if possible, who are experienced in mood disorders.  You will have to spend an afternoon calling around seeing who has what kind of expertise and is taking new patients.  Make sure that the psychiatrist is open to initial information from a family member and ongoing periodic check-ins with a family member.  Good docs know that patients with mood disorders often can't accurately report their mood states.  Family involvement in treatment is a best practice.

Family therapy will not be helpful until the underlying cause for the anger is found and treated.

Many therapists are really unqualified to deal with these kind of mental illness issues, and it is quite common to see poorly qualified counselors mischaracterizing a patient's mood state as "caused" by a "family problem."

The bottom line is that you can try for a period of time (however much you think you and the kids can safely handle) to help him get help.  But in the end, he is the only one that can get himself in the door of the doctor's office.  I think you know that this kind of behavior is unacceptable.  At a certain point, if he doesn't accept help, you will have to leave for the health and safety of the rest of the family.  While you are helping him, make sure you are helping yourself -- know all the family financial information, make sure you have your own credit cards and savings in your name only, be employed, etc.

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