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[quote=Anonymous]My sister and I used to be extremely close - phoning each other at least once a day, and able to send each other into laughter with just a look. We each got married, had kids (she has three, I have one) and we now live at opposite ends of the country. After my mom died (my dad died a long time ago) the relationship changed to be very cool, and I don't know why, or what to do about saving it. Sure, we were both grieving, but the whole family dynamic changed. There were no arguments or flash points - she just became very cool towards me. I think her husband might be behind it. He has always carried a chip on his shoulder and has at times been downright rude to me (and pretty much everyone else), but I have always tried to bat his comments away, because I valued my relationship with my sister so much. Maybe I'm overanalyzing, but as my mom was the "glue" that held the wider family together, I feel it's almost like that now that she's gone they feel like they don't need me anymore. We hardly get to see each other because of distance/money, and to be honest her emails and (rare) phone calls are now so cool that I would be nervous about making that commitment to travel, for fear of our meeting being just horrible. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what is wrong - to outside eyes it might look like nothing is. But I feel like I'm on eggshells when I'm talking to her. I send her kids, who I genuinely adore, lots of little gifts or cards at key times, not just birthdays, like when they started new schools or when I had to go to Europe for work and bought some really cute candies there. My husband is in the military and is away on a year's posting. I can handle that (I've done it before) but I'm hurt that my sister hasn't emailed or called to ask how I or my son are doing without him. It's the sort of thing my "old" sister would have done. I don't want to discuss this with anyone else in the family (aunts etc) because I'm worried that it will look like criticism and if it got back to her, it could all go disastrously wrong. I find it hard to accept that the wonderful warm and close relationship I had with her for so long is gone. What would you do?[/quote]

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