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[quote=Anonymous]Ive posted many times on this forum about my verbally/emotionally abusive DH who also physically bullied me (not hitting but menacing/threatening). We have been married 20 years, were teenage friends, and enjoyed a few good years at the outset. We have an 8 year old daughter

After struggling with trying to figure out WHAT HAPPENED to the guy I married or what his diagnosis was, after much counseling and lots of weird recurring behaviors and gradually more nasty treatment, especially after our baby was born,  I had a moment in time where I realized this is it. He had verbally attacked me in front of our daughter for the first time, but he made it a doozy- accusing me of flirting and charging at me for the last time ever.

Therapists somehow missed the abusive pattern, the psychiatrists missed his worst features, and it took a social worker's clues and my own research to nail that I was dealing with a BPD spouse.

I thought I could not tell anyone. I thought I had no place to go. I ended up telling some moms at a playground and then my father and stepmom about what was going on. And everything changed.

Now I am sitting in my house without him. Its a long story. But I just wanted to tell people on this list who had all helped me so much, and made their best efforts to figure out what was going on, that I have found resolution in terms of a dx and freedom knowing I do not need to save this.

I have no financial means, worked as an unpaid assistant for my DH's business, etc, and with ALL the uncertainty I face I DONT CARE ONE WHIT about that, because the ONLY certainty that matters is that I DONT HAVE TO SPEND ONE MORE DAY IN THAT TOXIC MARRIAGE.

Strength, perseverence, knowing I did not deserve this, and support from non professionals, as well as a new professional.  All these factored into me being able to so what at one time seemed TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE.

YOU HAVE CHOICES. You may just need to look again.[/quote]

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