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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Background: DD is in first grade and struggling academically.  We are in MCPS and have had an EMT meeting where some interventions were put in place but there have been no evaluations done as yet.  We are on the waiting list at KKI and CNMC.

I reached out to DD's teacher yesterday to see how things are going and she responded a little better but that my daughter needs to work on her organizational skills.  I feel almost like she is saying that the problem is at home.  I fully admit that I am worried I am doing something wrong so perhaps I'm reading her comment the wrong way.  We aren't as organized as we should be at home.  But could that really be contributing to my daughter's lack of focus and organization at school?  She loses and forget things FREQUENTLY.  And she needs significant repetition to learn.  Why isn't the teacher saying they are concerned about her focus and that they will evaluate?  How are they helping her at school to be organized?  We have a follow up meeting at the end of Feb and I may bring some of this up.

I guess I'm just wondering if I have created this problem with my daughter by not being the most organized mom.  Or are these kinds of things (lack of focus and attention) innate.  Or both??

[/quote]

Saying your daughter needs work on her organizational skills means that your daughter needs work on her organizational skills.  It is a statement of where she is and what she needs to develop.  It doesn't imply any criticism of you. You note that your daughter does in fact have difficulties remembering and organizing things.  Basically, your analysis matches the teacher's.

You indicate also that you are already carrying concern as to whether you are parenting in the optimal way.  Welcome to the club!  We all do.  By all means, if you think there is something you can do better at home to help your daughter improve these skills, then do them.  But there's no reason to speculate on any unspoken criticism here, which may not even exist.

I guess my bottom line here is:  try to separate an objective evaluation of what skills your daughter needs to develop from an evaluation of you as a parent.  We're all imperfect parents.  This observation isn't about you, it's about what your daughter needs.  Having established that, put your own self-criticism aside and just focus on helping with the issue you and the teacher agree exists.  [/quote]

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