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[quote=Anonymous]Look, I'm a guy who was single until age 37.  I'll tell you straight up, that you need to end the relationship.  While it may not seem like it, guys like that are either very immature or prime manipulators who will slowly evolve into an abuser.  This is the best this situation will ever be.  Can you live with this as the absolute best?  And can you live if the situation and relationship degenerate?  It starts will controlling how you express yourself, then it evolves into controlling how you behave, then it evolves into controlling how and when you can physically do things and finally when you can't change anymore, will come the abuse.  For some, it will only be emotional abuse, for others, it will be a combination of emotional and physical abuse.

My ex-bastard-in-law found my sister when she really wanted to have a long-term relationship.  She's always been a Daddy's girl and really wanted someone to take care of her.  She found a very well off bachelor who treated her very lavishly.  He also had problems and got upset when she tried to talk to him about her feelings or something that she wanted.  It was never the right time for a heart-to-heart.  He shut off every chance for her to even express an opinion in the relationship.  After the short romance and engagement, he then married her quickly in justice-of-the-peace wedding.  There was no urgency in the wedding, but he made her get married on the day of my college graduation and tried to guilt my parents into skipping my college graduation for a courthouse wedding and dinner at his favorite Mexican restaurant (nothing special, just where they used to go once or twice a week).  After they were married, he coaxed her into giving up her professional job.  He bought her a car, but it came with strings like when she could go out.  She had a fixed window in the afternoon when she could go out and shop.  He made it seem reasonable, because he worked from home and wanted to have lunch with her and then they always had dinner plans out (my sister is a lousy cook and the BIL rarely cooked either) so she could only go out in a certain window.  Once, my brother had an emergency, but because it wasn't in the "window" she couldn't go out and help him even though she wasn't doing anything.  He had wrought iron gates outside ALL of the egresses to the house with double-barreled locks on all of them which required a key to get out.  One key in the kitchen.  One spare in his office and he could see the keys at all times and would question if she needed the key, even to put the garbage out.  She got pregnant and had my niece.  When my niece was only about 2 years old, he started verbally abusing my sister.  They had an argument where she disagreed with him.  She never yells, has never yelled in over 50 years, but she disagreed with him.  He backhanded her.  Hard.  Note that my sister is 4'11" and weighs about 105 lbs.  The bastard is about 6' and weighs about 220.  At one point, she disagreed about something about my niece and he unlocked the gate and tried to push her out the door.  She wouldn't leave my niece with him and tried to go back for her and he pushed her out the door.  When she tried to get back in again, he slammed the door on her.  She had fractured ribs and was black and blue from shoulder to ankle.  She managed to stay the night (in the guest room).  The next day when he was working, she called my sister-in-law (my brother was unavailable in a meeting) who drove over and they managed to get my sister and niece out of the house.

This is just one story, but there are many others.  The guy you are with has major red flags.  Don't give in.  If he will not let you express your opinion and concerns and will not listen to you, then you need to get away from the relationship quickly.  Good luck.[/quote]

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