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[quote=Anonymous]Because attachment is at heart about the relationship between parent and child.  That is the relationship that needs to be created and the therapist needs to work with parent in the room to create it.  Attachment-disordered children have had the critical component of trust in a parent figure disrupted---usually during infancy or early toddler-dom---through abandonment, abuse or neglect.  It is a different paradigm from a child who had their basic needs met in early childhood.   Having the child who doesn't even trust their primary caretaker meet one-on-one with yet another strange adult doesn't really do anything---the child just views the therapist as yet another adult to manipulate---and will sit and play checkers (or whatever) for an hour without getting anything out of it.  A complete waste of money, IMHO.  (And we spent a LOT of money . . . ).  It was only when we really drilled down into understanding the effects of prenatal alcohol exposure on DC's brain, and addressed that through medication, then we were able to start addressing the emotional piece.  But the traditional therapists would have taken our money indefinitely, and just told us that we needed to be more patient.

When searching for a therapist to deal with serious adoption/attachment/behavior issues---do not be shy about asking for references.  A therapist who has had success with this cohort of challenging patients will be happy to reach out to their current client base and see if any existing patients' parents will serve as references.  A therapist that hasn't really had success with this population will hide behind claims of patient confidentiality instead of admitting that their play-based model isn't really effective for attachment disorder.[/quote]

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