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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Working Mom Question - Adoption"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Working mom of two adopted children here. (intl adoption, China, one adopted at age 3, one adopted at age 2) I think you will be fine. Just do the best you can. Yes, as the person above me posted, DO read a TON about attachment. Do all of the activities and things the books suggest when you are with them. Co-sleep if you can, to enhance the bonding. My children went/go to daycare 8 weeks after we brought them home, and that has worked for us, but I understand that sounds crazy when I see it written down here in black and white, but it did work out. And I understand that yours will be younger (so I agree that family care at that point may be better than daycare center care) but just watch the bonding/attachment issues. [/quote] PP back. Go in with this plan, but keep it flexible. Monitor how things seem to be going attachment-wise. Be flexible and able to change if you change your mind later and think you should take the FMLA and be there exclusively with your new child.[/quote] I have read about attachment, and we will be bringing home a 3-day old newborn, so it will be very different from a child who has been in the foster situation without a consistent and stable caregiver. [/quote] You are correct. We too brought home a three-day old. No attachment issues.[/quote] OP here. My bigger concern is being with the baby exclusively for three months and then having to jump right back into the throes of my routine, which will give me less time to spend with the baby than I would like at 3 months and beyond. From what I have read and discussed with other adoptive moms with older children, that is a pitfall that can interfere with your ability to give the baby your undivided attention beyond the first twelve weeks. I am also considering the transition for my biological child so that he can attach with the baby well. I feel like I'd be setting him up for sibling rivalry if, at 12 weeks, mom is suddenly thrust into working mom mode and he is fighting for my attention b/c I feel guilty I haven't seen the baby all day. Is it really such a radical idea to space out your leave to allow you more undivided opportunities with the baby over a longer period of time? [/quote]
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