Reply to Do you tell your kids that sometimes they need to fake it?

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[quote=Anonymous]Of course. That sort of niceness out of obligation even when you dislike the person is just basic manners, and we absolutely require that from our kids.

Plus, the ability to be courteous to someone you dislike and act with enough composure that nobody really notices there's any drama between the two of you is going to be a useful skill later in life when it is truly needed for important work or social situations.

Learning to do this, and do it well, at a young age also places my children in the best possible position for coming out on top of "mean girl" type drama.

Treating the mean girl with perfect, if subtly cool, composure and courtesy should ideally return the power in the situation to my kids:
1) If they can pull this off well enough (it requires practice) the mean girl won't be able to tell she's getting under their skin -- thus making it less likely she will persist in targeting someone who doesn't react or even seem to care.
2) Closely related to the point above, it may throw the mean girl off balance if my kids do not react typically but instead go for a disinterested but diplomatic and pleasant stance. Anything that ruins an adversary's plan, rattles them, and forces them to improvise, is likely to be something that can be used for your own benefit. My children can hopefully exploit that to turn the tide of the situation and cease the mean girl's targeting of them.
3) Being nice to the other person, even when they would rather do anything but that, is likely to keep my kids out of trouble and ensure that they look good to their peers and adult authorities no matter what the mean girl has planned to trash their reputation.

I know I always admired people with enough grace and confidence (possibly also called class) to remain calm, collected and kind in tough situations. This will speak highly of your DD's character and discredit the mean girl, all while making sure your DD takes the high road and handles the social scene in a way you can be proud of.[/quote]

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