Reply to Daughter caught in the middle of mean girl behavior

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The mean girl is probably trying to isolate your daughter from her other friends so that she can exert more control over her.

Does your daughter truly like and enjoy being friends with the targeted girls?[/quote]

I am pretty sure this is what's happening. She does like and enjoy being friends with the targeted girls. One was in her class last year and they were very good friends. Another is in her class this year and they had become good friends. I don't think it helps that these two are also friends with each other - I think the second became a target by associating with the first. My daughter is a very friendly person and I think everyone likes her so I don't want that to change. But I'm afraid if she aligns with this mean girl she will eventually put herself in a position where these kids won't want to be her friend either, if she is just standing by while exclusion, name calling and mean texting is going on.

I will look at some of the American Girl stuff - she isn't as in to it now but we have the dolls and read a lot of the books and magazine in the past so she might be receptive to it.

Fwiw we tried to have a conversation about this today. We let her know her teacher had told us about what's going on. She said it wasn't her, it was the two other girls. Then my husband said he'd heard the one girl had also been mean to the other friend and that she needed to be aware that this other girl was very upset by it and didn't know if my daughter was even still her friend. We also reassured that we had both had issues with this at her age. She didn't supply much information and seemed very uncomfortable but I could tell it was stressful for her. I hope just knowing that we are aware will let her know it's okay to talk about. I'm trying very hard to avoid telling her to not be friends with the mean girl. Everyone needs friends and I think there is room for my daughter to be friends with as many different people as she likes, even if they are not all friends with each other. And mean girl doesn't even have to like the others or hang out with them, just not be unkind. I appreciate all the tips and suggestions. Just so hard :(

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