Reply to Boyfriend confronted me about what I wore to meet female friends

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My boyfriend and I have been together for close to 7 years.  We've been living together for 2.
A while back, he really pushed me to make more friends and find some hobbies.  I did both and have a really good life.
Last night, my girlfriends and I went to a nice bar/steakhouse type of place to play trivia.
We had a blast and I was home by 10:30.
[b]I even told him about the 70 year old guy who chased me into the parking lot to give me his number (I'm 32).
I thought he would find it as funny as I did.[/b]To preface the next part-I wore a nice button down black and white H&M top, a pair of skinny black pants and black, close-toe wedge heels.
My makeup was classy and my hair was down.
I looked like every other woman there.  It's the same type of outfit I would wear if we go out to dinner.
I got a text from him [b]today [/b]telling me that he didnt like what I wore and basically implying that I looked like I went out to pick men up.
I sat at a fucking table with 8 women and lost at trivia.  I didn't speak to another man.  At all.
I've never cheated on him and never given him any reason not to trust me.  We have never really had trust issues.  [b]He's been cheated on before.
He refuses to discuss it via text [/b]and my entire day is screwed now.
I'm really upset.  What the hell is this about?
I should also add that he has a chronic illness and doesn't like to go out too often.  I go out with my girlfriends 2-3x per month.  We do trivia, dinners and go for coffee.  We aren't out clubbing.[/quote]

He's a ruminator. your "funny" little story got bigger and bigger in his mind and it exploded this way. It was a mistake to share it.

Are you serious about him and your relationship? If so, I would react to the music and not the words here. Respect his wishes to not engage and receive the message that his feelings are hurt and something you did led to him feeling insecure. Tonight, come home, and make him feel secure. Be lovey, be the reassuring girlfriend who only has eyes for him.  Don't make any concessions about what you will wear in future, it's your choice not his, but don't throw that in his face either. Get him to talk about what is bothering him, keep your mouth SHUT while he does so--you are trying to invest in your relationship, not test it with an argument. [/quote]

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