Reply to Help me disengage from family meltdown

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[quote=Anonymous]
This is ridiculous. You sister needs to accept that your mother will never change, and move forward with her own life, limiting contact with her. Over time, there might be forgiveness.

Is this the new therapist's idea? S/he should know that forcing a genuine apology from someone who is reluctant is impossible. I tried that with my mother and it only led to more resentment and recriminations on both sides. In my 20s I realized that all the wrongs my parents had done were in the past, and that nobody but me had the power to break with that cycle and redirect my life. That continuing to blame them for my adult problems directly caused by their poor parenting was not helping me solve these problems! I moved across the Atlantic and built a new life for myself, far away from my mother's drama and my father's weirdness.

I understand that it is hard to limit contact with one parent while being on good terms with the other - I'm living this right now. Frankly, your mother seems too far gone to turn it around, and your sister HAS to let go for her own health. We all of us only have one life to live - move on already.

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