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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
With that further clarification, there is probably little that you can offer. Either Jane or both she and DH will only react negatively towards your suggestion and perhaps for the same earlier reason you mentioned.  Just be there as a friend as things may shake out in middle school.  I find it hard to believe that some of the behaviors you describe such as walking on desks is really happening by a 10 year old and further being allowed to happen.  Another aspect is that maybe John will get a good punch back from a peer when he lets loose some time that will finally knock some sense into his parents that his behavior is off and only going to have negative consequences.[/quote]

+1.  It's hard to believe that OP is talking about a 10 yr old.  If he's been having these problems since before K and his parents are still being defensive, there's really nothing you can say.  Also, would love to know what school lets a 5th grader walk on desks and dismiss other unacceptable behaviors as long as the kid "passes".  What kind of school is this?[/quote]

OP here. I hesitated to post, because I thought I'd be called a troll, but it is true. I've seen John act this way ALL of the many, many times we've been together. I wouldn't believe that a school would put up with it either. I mean, I've seen students at my school asked to leave for much less. My ds was asked not to come back to a summer camp for much less.

I still assume that John can't be behaving NEARLY as off the hook at school as he does other places, but the behaviors Jane told me his teacher reported are incredible! I'm not saying he never gets in trouble at school, and obviously, they wanted him to be evaluated in the first place, but I'm amazed and confused by what they let him do. It's a regular classroom in a well-regarded public school.

As for the parenting, I don't know what to say. Jane and her dh are smart and level-headed, but there's some kind of disconnect there that can no longer be explained by being new parents. I know it's not under my control, and it's barely my business, but it's like watching a car crash.  :( [/quote]

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