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[quote=Anonymous]

If you are a really good friend, then the next time "Jane" brings it up with you, take it as an entry to make time and a private place to have a good and honest discussion with her about what you have shared here from the point of view of "an experienced teacher" and not just a friend.  You need to have a few key and very specific steps that your friend could take and you might even just keep a card for what professional or school number she should call in her area to get started or suggestions based on your ideas as a teacher.

From what is shared by you via Jane, at the school level, I would request a meeting of at least the teacher, the principal and her husband to go as a couple because your friend sounds like she would be rather ineffective even asking where to begin.  As a couple they need to relate the behaviors and why they have been allowed in the school setting. At the same time, I would tell her request a full evaluation by the school division to get an IEP in place before middle school starts.  As it stands now they are just passing him along.

Or the other approach that might be also recommended would be to give her the names of a couple of good centers that do full scale evaluations on children as this sounds like a complex case or at least a neuro-psychologist or developmental pediatrician to do an evaluation if the couple would be better off starting with and getting a report from jsut one person to begin with.  [b]I might suggest an evaluation by the kind of doctor at age  10 you think would be most likely to pick up on the key developmental/behavioral issues which the couple could then use to start the ball rolling with a full-scale evaluation for an IEP.[/b]   The way you present all three are in for a rude awakening and shortly, as the bigger he gets and the more powerful the punch - the impact of the inaction on others and on this child, too, only grow.  And, it might just be worth it to take a chance on sharing advice and resources to contact as well as having "no friend" at least for a time.  Silence in this instance since you are an experienced professional may not be the best golden rule to follow.

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