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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not upper elementary yet, just second grade.  But I understand your concern.

I have several friends with college-aged onlies and they have had wonderful relationships with their kids.  They are all very close.  And I must say that I am very close to my son as well.

Negatives so far:  I am my kid's favorite playmate.  I am master lego builder, trail hiker, ball thrower, minecraft buddy.  I don't get much adult time to myself.  My son would rather play with me in the neighborhood pool than go off with friends.

Positives so far:  Very close to my son.   We have a blast.  He tells me everything (and I hope that continues into teen years).   He's very mature  and can discuss things like politics and current events with adults better than you may expect.    Not like an adult, but not like an 8 year old, either.

Prior concerns:  That my son didn't have enough time playing with other kids and instead would only play with me.  I tried to arrange a million playdates, set up time with cousins, etc.   And while he's more outgoing than I am by far, I came to realize he really does need some down time from friends.  I needed it as a kid, too, but thought that was because I was very introverted.   I'm off this Christmas vacation for two weeks, and have an opportunity to arrange tons of playdates, but he only wants one.  He'd rather have unstructured time playing with Playmobil and legos by himself.  He's had his fill of friends at school and aftercare, and I have come to realize he gets PLENTY of socialization time then.  That doesn't mean me as best playmate is ideal.  I still work on his fostering good, enduring friendships.  He doesn't have to be Mr. Popularity, but I want him to be a good friend and have a good friend.

My concerns down the road:  That we are too close and that as teens inevitably pull away, it may be harder for me than I realize.  But I've been ready for that since he was born, since it was a hard time for me as a teen.  I felt too suffocated by my parents, and will try hard not to do that to my kid.

I don't know how to distinguish it from multiples, because honestly most of my friends with adult children have two or more, and are all very close.  The biggest different I see between generations is more parenting style than number of siblings.   More parents are choosing a middle-of-the-road approach to parenting (authoritative) over the common authoritarian approach of my childhood.  This parenting change, IMO, is responsible for closer and more positive family ties.

Here's an article that affirms most of my experiences with my only:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/09/opinion/sunday/only-children-lonely-and-selfish.html?_r=0[/quote]

I have a daughter who is now a senior at college. We were pretty close growing up and although I did play with her more so than a parent with several kids, she also had many play dates and kids in the neighborhood to play with. She preferred playing with other kids, but she also enjoyed down time with me. As she got older, she had a couple close friends and they were inseparable - like sisters. It was nice although I really missed spending time with her. She went to college and met a very nice man and she is now engaged to be married (she is 25). I have to say, that she never asked for siblings or felt bad about being an only child. In fact, we have had people tell us that they are surprised she is an only, so it is unfortunate that the negative stereotype stll exists. She as a few only friends and only one of them seemed bratty. On the flip side, she also had friends that were bratty who also had siblings.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. The pro and con (depending on the day) was the lack of adult time that I had, but I still ad some and I usually loved hanging out with her. I did have to make extra effort to schedule playdates ut as she got older, she had a nice core of friends.

Except for socialization, I don't think that you have to do things too much different than parents of more than one kid. And, with school, camps and activities, the soicalialiation is already there.[/quote]

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