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[quote=Anonymous]Thank you all for responding back with answers.
I am feeling slightly inclined to send her to the party after reading all of your posts.
Also since my dd herself wants to go, I feel that I have to decide quickly and let her know.

Here are a few concerns:
Partly cultural reasons are also involved.

Apart from that, my dd had been a victim of bullying for a long time in elementary school. could not handle it. In most cases, tried to avoid the bullies. She never stood up against bullying. Even she personally never complained to me that she is getting bullied. I came to know from other friends or teachers. Then when asked she would narrate the incidents to me. I am not sure if she is telling me completely.

dd is a simple kid. very quiet kid.

She has high tolerance level. 
examples: If someone called her ugly, she would just take it. not say anything. I am not asking her to call the other kid ugly. All I want is at least say beauty does not matter.
But she does feel bad that someone said something mean to her.
We experienced some recent teasing as well in some summer camp. Girls teasing her with some boy's name (There was no boy with that name in the summer camp or in the school. never heard of that name before summer camp as well). She was very touchy about the subject when questioned about it. I am not sure how she responded back to the girls on day to day basis in the summer camp. My guess is she just kept quiet.
Finally recently she told them that it is not funny when they kept going on about it (almost in second quarter of school year). But here I had to intervene to help her out. Again here I initiated the talks between dd and me.

I dont know the host parents personally.

But I know one of the boy's mom. she is a gossip queen.
I understand that kids have to live their lives and experience good and bad and learn to take good path. 
what if someone says something to her? what if it becomes a continuous joke for the rest of middle school and beyond? what if moms who gossip carry on about it?
Will I ever come to know about it and if it is bothering my dd?

Additionally, all the kids know each other from elementary school. But for my dd these are relatively new friendships formed in middle school.

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