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[quote=Anonymous]Having your mother play go between for your relationship with your brothers isn't working. She's not going to choose sides and if she does, that'll just make things worse. So communicate your messages directly to your brothers yourself. If your mother asks why you aren't doing XYZ with your brothers this week, just say you're already in touch with them about the weekend.

My younger brother is also a pain in the recent grad phase of life - still trying to play the sibling rivalry card,  and wants all of my parents' resources dedicated to him when it's a house full of the 10+ person family we've become now that people are getting married & having kids. The self-centered teenage phase hasn't passed for him yet and it's not easy to be patient about it. Anyway, I would just stop initiating with your brothers for now. If they don't reach out to you to say "hey, i'll be in town next weekend - are you free?" then don't clear your calendar.

btw - Your mom was annoyed with you because you've said you want them to come to you, she offers to bring them to you with food so you don't have to cook, and now you're saying it's still too much hassle. I get why you don't want to host, but she was trying to accommodate your request. [/quote]

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