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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I would send a note to the ILs, and tell them that their grandchildren miss them (only if they do), and ask them if they could please send Christmas gifts to the kids as they usually do because the kids are very sad about the breakup of the marriage. Don't be angry or judgmental, just describe the situation. If they don't respond (they must be angry at you), then you've tried. But your ILs need to know that their grandkids still love and need them, even if their dad is out of the picture, at least for the moment.

So sorry about everything else. You don't need to keep a brave face, you don't need to protect the kids. They are old enough to know what's happening, and you owe it to them to be honest (age appropriately, of course) with them.

Try to get some counseling. Your church may offer free or no-cost counseling, which can help.

Best of luck to you OP. You'll weather this storm. Keep telling your kids you love them, that mistakes and hard times happen in every life, and you're sorry they are happening now, but this will pass in time, you are trying to sort things out, and you will have your own place, and life will move on. It will be a different life, but a better one, once you weather this storm.

Your DH sounds like a real piece of work. You and the kids are better off without him. Focus on that piece of luck!

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