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[quote=Anonymous]What kind of cancer does your mother have? Is she being treated or is she in hospice? The answers would influence my decision.

My mother died when my first child was almost 2yo. Her funeral was on his birthday. We didn't plan it that way; she had a terminal diagnosis but had lived for 6 years with intermittent treatment. I didn't expect her to die. I will say that it was hard to manage a young child during her final couple of months - the first time I left my son for any period of time was to go see her in the ICU, and then I would go back and forth via plane with him to see her as she tried to battle back. At 22 months, he was insanely difficult to manage under those circumstances - I would be chasing him around airports and the rehab facility, etc. Every aspect of the whole thing was just excruciating.

All that said, my mother was overjoyed to finally have a grandchild. It meant a lot to her that she could see me begin that stage of life. But my son doesn't actually remember her anymore, and I don't know if it gives me any comfort that she got to hold him as a baby - I am still heartbroken she can't know him now that he is a handsome, well-behaved tween.

So I don't know OP - I would think carefully about what kind of caretaking your mother will need and/or you will want to provide; about how probable her timeline is (my mother shouldn't have lived as long as she did); and how you would manage the often overwhelming physical and emotional demands of pregnancy/infancy plus your mother's illness. I'd also consider your own age, and whether you

Bear in mind, OP, that despite what you may think, not everyone gets pregnant on schedule. Even if you "decided" to have a baby ASAP, you may find you can't orchestrate the timing as neatly as you'd like. I had a m/c a few months after my mother died, and it really truly broke me for a long time. It's an awful statistic, but m/c is not uncommon, nor is fertility issues. Do you want to (potentially) be dealing with any of that while you are also trying to be there for your mom and/or grieve for her?[/quote]

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