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[quote=Anonymous]My in-laws are in their 90s. They live in Germany, we live in DC. They always said they would not be a burden to my DH (only child) and they would go to an assisted living type of place when necessary. They finally did so last spring. I think it should have happened before because doing their own grocery shopping, cooking etc was way too much for them. So it was a good thing, given the circumstances. 
For the last three weeks MIL has had an excruciating back pain. She was even taken to hospital, they said she has arthritis in the spine and. It much can be done other than pain killers and they sent her back to the home. 
However that place is not able to assist if people are permanently so ill, as it seems that she is going to be. So DH, FIL and the home they are in now have started the conversation about whether they should move MIL elsewhere, so she can receive proper care (and, I imagine, she won't be such a burden because they will be more prepared). 
My DH was visiting them this weekend. I only see her on skype about once a week and she barely talks to us any more and she looks like she is suffering a lot. It looks like she is really at the end of her road and, if they move her, being separate from FIL, will make things much harder for her. I feel her body is giving up, maybe for the best. 
I feel helpless. What can I do for her? Even more now in the holiday season when we are all doing charitable things and donations, but I can't even help her or FIL.

Thanks for advice or for just reading me. 
I have been very lucky so far, I am 39 and never been had a close relative in this situation before. So I am lost. 
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