Reply to How do I soften the tone of my voice

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[quote=Anonymous]Ouch. That's super hard to deal with. I struggle with this too. Some of it is misogynist and it's difficult to satisfy people who just don't want to be directed by you.

It's also possible that you legitimately have a harsh voice, though this criticism seems to be leveled more often at women than men.

You need a friend who understands your business who will be honest with you. Practice saying things (particularly difficult things) with him or her before you say them to your coworkers. It is possible to use a more neutral tone while still making firm statements. Don't let this feedback clip your wings.  Don't apologize. It sounds like you're being firm, which is good. Are there any women in your organization whose speaking style you admire? Perhaps you could talk to them?

Or - show the people who've given you this feedback that you take it seriously and ask them to give you funding for an executive coach. An executive coach could help you untangle this whole thing. [/quote]

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