Reply to His Family Bringing Up His Ex

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "His Family Bringing Up His Ex"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So, how long should I have to listen to his family bring up his ex?

His ex is a very nice person, they were together 6 or 7 years. I have no issues with her, she has no issues with me and we get along (they have a kid so are in contact frequently.) I get along with his family and they seem to like me. But every time we see them, one of the first things they ask about is his ex. Is this normal? Do I just have to deal with being his "2nd string" relationship forever?

His extended family is more understandable, as we don't see them or talk to them as often, so maybe they just want to catch up on her well-being. And I'm not sure if they are in contact with her anymore, other than I think they might be Facebook friends. But his sister makes a point of asking something about her EVERY SINGLE TIME we see her, which is often. And, she still talks to her anyway, so clearly she knows how she's doing. I can't figure out if she's doing it to get under my skin or make a point or what.

Anyway, is this normal? Do family members bring up someone's ex for years and years after they've broken up?[/quote]

Forever.  You will have to listen to it (gracefully) forever.

You can think of your relationship as "2nd string" if you want, but please remember that YOU are putting that spin on it, no one else.  Just because your husband has a relationship with someone else (albeit not a romantic or sexual one anymore presumably) doesn't mean that YOU have to think of that relationship as being more important than yours.  You live with him, you go home every night to him, etc.  Why on earth would you think of your relationship as "second string" just because some relative has a 5 minute conversation with your husband about the mother of his children?

Having said that, however, please take responsibility for the fact that you knowingly married a man who had previous relationships and kids with someone else before he met you.  Those people will be in his life forever, to whatever degree HE HIMSELF decides together with THEM.   You, presumably, knew about the prior marriage and kids when you met him.  If you had the expectation that you could proceed in this relationship pretending that the mother doesn't exist or getting other people to pretend the mother doesn't exist, then that was an entirely unreasonable expectation.  Focus on your husband's relationship with you and stop trying to control his relationships with other people.  You can't control them.  You can only decide whether or not those relationships are something you want to live with.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics